i don’t want you to think that i have no self respect.
i am notorious for making myself the victim, pretending to be weak and hiding behind this facade of moral high ground. i don’t want you to think that i’m lowering my standards because i’m weak. i am young, and naive, and unsure of many things, but i know what i can and cannot handle. i know that, while i do take break-ups badly, i can survive anything. it is my choice to give someone who i feel genuinely knows and loves me, another chance. yeah, he fucked up a lot and he hurt me a lot and i’m not going to jump right back into this relationship and expect it all to work out. hell, i don’t even know if i will get back with him at all. but at least support my stupid decision to try, for the sake of love, one more time. i fucked up a lot, too, but i chose to omit that. nothing he or i did was right, but it wasn’t wrong either. together, we’re balanced. i know that we should be balanced in our own lives before we try to be with someone else, but please just give me the support in my decision.
there’s a lot to be worked out, and a lot to be discussed, but i, too am a “pig”. i have done things that you cannot imagine, and i hope you understand that he loves me, for my flaws, too.
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i’m dealing with two men right now and it’s really overwhelming. both are leaving in five weeks, and i don’t want to be in a committed relationship with either of them, for the time being. i’m unsure of what the future holds in either direction, but i’m taking it day by day.
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